| Author | Topic: Some Awesome Stuff I Said Last Week |
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Member Since: 2002
Location: I need some bad ass weed right about now - and a couple of beers. |  posted Monday, November 02, 2009 1:47:43 PM 
"i'm the evil knievel of stepping in dog shit."
"can you bring me a q-tip and some neosporin?"
"it tastes like chewy ocean water."
"we're in queens. that thing just buttfucked us so hard."
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 1:49:28 PM
Did you also wear a anti-flammable suit while stepping in that dog shit?Partial IP: 2.35.208.4 |
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Location: expert's lounge | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 1:49:32 PM 
salt water taffy sucksPartial IP: .3.246.132 |
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Location: but i was talkin bout your pussy since my dream is to spit spermys in ya coochi | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 1:52:58 PM
lolPartial IP: 09.181.185 |
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Location: carve a broken heart into the pumpkin | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 1:53:03 PM
chilk i killed my unborn seed this weekend , yesterday actually. plan b. all day its been bugging me that lil opie got murked.
sykeeeee. idgaf. girlie wouldnt drink tho cuz she said she was afraid she was gonna puke our love child onto the table. that made me lolPartial IP: 17.142.102 |
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Location: expert's lounge | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 1:54:04 PM
be aware that she will miss her next periodPartial IP: .3.246.132 |
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Location: carve a broken heart into the pumpkin | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 1:57:37 PM
yeah she said something like that.
the nuvaring fell out and my dog chewed it. (nolie)now we have to use condoms till next munf.
 x 100Partial IP: 17.142.102 |
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 1:59:09 PM
Oohhhhhhhh fuck.Partial IP: 2.35.208.4 |
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Location: I need some bad ass weed right about now - and a couple of beers. | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:00:35 PM
did you knock up the bartender? are u (and her) even positive she was pregnant? being that shes a bartender which makes her an attention whore by default i wouldnt put a "fake pregnancy scare" out of her realm of possibility. i had a girl in college give me the fake pregnancy scare. i told her i'd come up with $ for an abortion then she told me she was only 2 days late. fucking bitch.
ANSWER KEY
1. after last minute acrobatically trying to avoid but still stepping in dogshit
2. after picking a tick off mike hogewood's head
3. describing the flavor of a raw clam to teh j00
4. after garmin in the rental told got me on a path to queensboro bridge instead of west side highway. fuckin hate those things.Partial IP: 36.170.228 |
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Location: carve a broken heart into the pumpkin | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:03:56 PM
no but i was positive that the rang fell out and i nutted. anyway the $40 was worth her having peace of mind imo even if he wasnt. but this condom thing srsly sucks. i hatehatehate them.Partial IP: 17.142.102 |
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:05:53 PM
It's not like ring blocks your nut from reaching or something, silly. It's fucking hormonal. And if this attention whore of yours has been using it regularly, even if she discontinued it, it would remain in effect for a little while longer.
Surely long enough to protect against yo opie sperm at the moment of passion and slippage.Partial IP: 2.35.208.4 |
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Location: carve a broken heart into the pumpkin | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:10:09 PM
ya i told her that doc. but like i said. the $40 was worth her being not freakin out about it all day so we could drank an watch football.
lassed night i was so sick from my 2 day Halloween whiskey bender i woke up at 2 am feeling like death and was rolling around being sick. she actually got up and took the puppy an slept on the couch so i could have the whole bed to try and be comfortable. she just texted me sayin she made soup an left it in the fridge for me to feel better. shes pretty much the sweetest thing ever.Partial IP: 17.142.102 |
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Location: I need some bad ass weed right about now - and a couple of beers. | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:11:07 PM
wait wait wait HOLD UP.
so her nuva ring fell out, you came in her once... and you think that automatically means she would have gotten pregnant?
are u fucking serious? opie ur turning into as much of an attention whore as your bartending, black c0ck sucking when youre not around, touching guys arms and cute smiling to get better tips, giving out fake cell #s to out of towner businessmen to get even better tips attention whore of a bartender girlfriend.
i mean the morning after pill for a safety precaution is a smart move i suppose but dont cum on here posting about how your killed your unborn child.
save that post for when u get her an abortion using a wire hanger and a dirt devil.
visual aid below:
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Location: white guys O N L Y | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:12:11 PM
Can you please post a recent picture of Mike Hogewood?
Thx in advance.
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Location: carve a broken heart into the pumpkin | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:14:14 PM
sorry ter ray i like bein dramatic.
ps. the bar she works at basically is a service bar for the resturant, its not a bar bar iykwim. and its in midtown, so it's mostly limp wrists anyway comin in.Partial IP: 17.142.102 |
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Location: u couldn't hang with the level i fuck on | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:15:06 PM
ive paid for an ab0rti0n b4
shits like $400 bucks US but it c0mes with a free car wash so its rly nbd
and by free car wash i mean that as you leave teh clinic theres some relig0us freak in a lawn chair hurling holy water at ur car free of chargePartial IP: 2.167.3.20 |
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Location: I need some bad ass weed right about now - and a couple of beers. | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:15:37 PM
what restaurant/bar?Partial IP: 36.170.228 |
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:19:02 PM
What did you talk about on the ride home, wite?
Also, what music did you play? Enter the 36 Chambers?Partial IP: 2.35.208.4 |
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Location: carve a broken heart into the pumpkin | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:20:55 PM
i dont wanna say for obvious reasons but itd be like being the bartender at SFU, its mostly service for the waitstaff/ppl eatin at the bar not a drinky drinky bar which my insecurities would freak me out way too much about if she worked there.Partial IP: 17.142.102 |
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Location: I need some bad ass weed right about now - and a couple of beers. | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:24:12 PM
i understand.
how bout postin a pic of her tiddies and or wide open vagPartial IP: 36.170.228 |
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Location: expert's lounge | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:26:45 PM
If not for the miracle of science and my own personal issues, I would be the father of three and have three separate baby mothers. Aged 11, 7 and one that is still pregnant.
All horrible experiences and the cause of some trauma for the woman undoubtedly. I often wonder how my life would be vastly different if this was 30 years ago and these procedures were not available. Also what if I just went through with it. Who knows. I do think about it though.Partial IP: .3.246.132 |
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Location: u couldn't hang with the level i fuck on | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:27:40 PM
What did you talk about on the ride home, wite?
not much seeing as h0w she was slumped over in teh passenger seat pumped full of drugs
i think we sat in silencePartial IP: 2.167.3.20 |
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:29:33 PM
Harry, I'm gonna go ahead and field the same questions I gave to wite your way.
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Location: u couldn't hang with the level i fuck on | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:31:32 PM
hay ty i bet our aborted fetuses are part of an online community in teh sky and r calling eachother fgts as we b0ard together here on earthPartial IP: 2.167.3.20 |
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Location: expert's lounge | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:38:49 PM
First time was weird as it was someone I was having sex with for a long time and it was time to commit or abort. The latter resulted in loss of $500 and her questioning if she has committed a sin that would result in going to hell as she was fairly religious. She now has two children.
Second time different girl, she kept it a secret. Sonogram showed it was true. A pill was provided and we stayed in my apartment while the fetus was passed in my toilet. She did not leave my apartment for like a week after. We broke up a little while later as I cheated with her with the first discussed girl and she found proof of cheating so I admitted. She now has 4 children from an abusive black BF whom she has a restraining order against.
Last one was a plan b pill couple months ago. This was just a precautionary tale "oh I think I came inside you" yet resulted in the crystallization of my intent to not commit which she picked up very quickly. This relationship ended last week. After taking the pill we went to Dennys and she was very bizarre and had vaginal bleeding issues and threw off her period cycle for a month after.
No music recall.
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Location: okay see you later bro | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:41:37 PM
awesome - while i was fucking my girl this weekend she asked me how come i feel so good and i told her it was because i love her.
she took the plan b a couple weeks ago to be safer than sorry too. whats weird is her period came 2 weeks early after that and was super dark and lasted only a couple days and was gone.
now we dont know if her whole schedule is changed or if she got a mini period in between her regular one or what.Partial IP: 12.45.3.2 |
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Location: u couldn't hang with the level i fuck on | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:42:15 PM
cant have kids with a bitch who drinks milk out of a saucer
nice movePartial IP: 2.167.3.20 |
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Location: u couldn't hang with the level i fuck on | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:46:32 PM
cant have kids with a bitch who wears a leash & laps milk out of a saucer**
fixedPartial IP: 2.167.3.20 |
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Location: expert's lounge | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:51:41 PM
This was not S&M kitty girl. That was a short lived uh romance. Very weird situation. No good could come of it but stories.
While kitty girl was still around I met a new girl, shy hipster type I started seeing and ended the milk kitty situation. That was plan b girl.Partial IP: .3.246.132 |
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Location: u couldn't hang with the level i fuck on | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:53:53 PM
u rascalPartial IP: 2.167.3.20 |
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:55:06 PM
I don't know if I could abort my sire.
I'm being serious. I feel like I would bitch out, raise the kid, but be more of an absentee father (blk). Kinda like in Baby Boy. I imagine, that amassing a small harem of babies-mommas is really the best thing a man can do in this life.Partial IP: 2.35.208.4 |
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Location: //coffee | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:56:49 PM
having multiple baby's mothers is actual proof of girls you've fucked... no one will doubt you if she's titty feeding your own childPartial IP: 48.170.100 |
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Location: carve a broken heart into the pumpkin | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:57:28 PM
Kinda like in Baby Boy.
**blank stare**Partial IP: 17.142.102 |
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Location: carve a broken heart into the pumpkin | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 2:59:08 PM
doc you have the frumpy yt girlfriend you read comics with right?
i say you impregnate her.Partial IP: 17.142.102 |
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:02:19 PM
Jody had like two kids, didn't he? One by that bitch name "Peanut" and then his main girl. That's the life, I mean. Baby's mommas.
Also, frumpy? No. Impregnate? NawwwwwwwwwPartial IP: 2.35.208.4 |
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Location: carve a broken heart into the pumpkin | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:03:41 PM
im pretty sure your girl was described as frumpy but iiwiiPartial IP: 17.142.102 |
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Location: expert's lounge | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:07:40 PM
Having three baby mommas would pretty much suck. I dont know how you think it would be a good thing.
Maybe the first one but the 2nd one was batshit insane. Shes living with her 4 kids in a battered woman's shelter. Her mother is convinced Im her first baby's father and shes also insane plus the kid is black. Last one was loopy as well.
I do wonder about the first one at timesPartial IP: .3.246.132 |
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Location: carve a broken heart into the pumpkin | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:08:33 PM
yeah child support sounds mad funPartial IP: 17.142.102 |
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Member Since: 2009 | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:08:54 PM
For the clam answer i was going to suggest Urchin Sushi, but I'm maaaaaaad latePartial IP: 1.213.49.1 |
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:12:37 PM
I don't so much mean the three girls you got pregnant as possible "babies-mommas", but the concept in general. And admittedly, I don't know why I think its a good idea. Socialization? Idk. It's honestly probably a terrible idea, which is why I have no little Dr.'s running about.Partial IP: 2.35.208.4 |
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Location: u couldn't hang with the level i fuck on | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:14:12 PM
u think its a g00d idea b/c ur blk and its etched in ur DNAPartial IP: 2.167.3.20 |
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:14:43 PM
You're right.Partial IP: 2.35.208.4 |
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Location: u couldn't hang with the level i fuck on | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:20:27 PM
chem0therapy can only kill so muchPartial IP: 2.167.3.20 |
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Location: expert's lounge | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:27:15 PM
You now what I hated from girl 3:
When I was having sexual relations that would be considered to be somewhat rough but not unwanted, she would say "good boy" which totally infantilized me. I resented the "good boy" remarks and found them utterly repulsive.Partial IP: .3.246.132 |
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Location: okay see you later bro | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:29:51 PM
so the plan b weird period thing is to be expected?Partial IP: 12.45.3.2 |
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Location: expert's lounge | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:32:18 PM
Yes. They mention it as a common side effect. Google it.Partial IP: .3.246.132 |
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Location: okay see you later bro | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:33:53 PM
she said she read the box. shoulda known she wasnt thorough. dont tell me what to do.Partial IP: 12.45.3.2 |
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:34:39 PM
I would hate the fuck out of that, Harry. Honestly. I'm not a fucking dog. I think I would try to split her open with my cock. And when it didn't happen and instead I just came all passive-aggressively, I'd break up with her and hope she had a moderate amount of vaginal bleeding afterward.Partial IP: 2.35.208.4 |
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Location: expert's lounge | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:39:06 PM
Not to mention that the whole thing about rough sex is that Im in fuckin charge.
When she says "good boy", Im not in fucking charge and she's orchestrating the whole thing. Im just doing things she approves of or disproves of. This ruined it for me. Plus its just not sexy, "good boy"..eewePartial IP: .3.246.132 |
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Location: UGHH's resident doctor | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:40:18 PM
I would've tried to murder her with my dick.
I'm so serious right now. That is fucking infuriating.Partial IP: 2.35.208.4 |
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Location: u couldn't hang with the level i fuck on | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:40:47 PM
ill take thats wen u tell her to stfu n wrap her arm ar0und her back NYPD style n put ur f00t on her head for a th0usand plsPartial IP: 2.167.3.20 |
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Location: expert's lounge | posted Monday, November 02, 2009 3:44:42 PM
I tried. Took pain killers and all. Just ended up with heart palpitations and having to focus so I could end it. There was no end to the "good boy" thing. Pull her hair, smacking her a lil....all "good boy". Maybe she just had a limited sex vocab which I can deal with, I just hated her response words bank.
I think I would have to drop a leg on her like Hulk Hogan for her to stop the good boy talk. This could have ended up in violence and it is good that it is over.
I hate "good boy"Partial IP: .3.246.132 |
