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Song “the High”... Feedback Greatly Appreciated
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AuthorTopic:  Song “the High”... Feedback Greatly Appreciated
joshnwmn

Total Posts: 12
Member Since: 2017
posted Tuesday, September 19, 2017 1:45:20 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for joshnwmn   Click Here to Email joshnwmn
Based on the lyrics to my other songs this might seem hypocritical, but I’m following this song up with one called “the comedown”. They will contrast eachother. I guess the idea was to show one side of the coin (the high, and the feelings of confidence that come with it), and then show the other (the comedown). This isn’t the full song but a lot of it. Just wanted to get thoughts so far.


Verse 1:
Prince said purple rain whew
That was no exaggeration
Colors changin
I'm a king
Imaginary crown dancin
Gold up on the fucking edges
Dosed at 8 got till eleven
Feeling sent straight from heaven
Life is a gift so I live in the present
Livin swift no moderation
Psychedelic reminiscence
Lucid but I'm seeing visions
Seconds start to feel minutes
Questioning all the blueprints
Lose the fuckin superstition
Pupils straight dilated
Nothin but pure elation
Stuck up in this paid vacation
Fucked up more than this nation
Menace to society
Fuck all that dichotomy
I'm sittin under golden leaves
Even still that pussy pink
You know that colors calling me
My bothers straight flew from me
Trippy dreams led by the beat
Speakers pulse I feel it my feet
Out of order, in a corner, watching walls turn to water, floors rolling, no boarders, quarter of my shorts are golden, ceilings folding, patterns on the doors open hoping no one slows the moment choking on the smoke toke and blow it hit the throat, hold it, roll the window, hit then throw it, eyes forward, looking at the cold blowing straight from the AC, hazy brainwaves make me lazy, baby maybe play some JAY-Z, all this talkings making me crazy, lately this cars been feeling spacey, kick your feet up let's get racy, hey we always have the backseat


Verse 2:
Should not be drivin in my body's climate
My High is climbing
But the city's lights they stay enticing
Stay sober that's good advice
Straight from the wise
But since when did I do what's right
Despite my mind that bitch it bites
My conscious holds a sharpened knife
not here to fight
So fuck the strife
Like that bitch my wife
This bitch my life
So my sounds real tight
And my flow stay nice
bars they bite
They got appetite
Faded off a couple tabs
Made to kill it on the track
Bond with the shit cuz I got that license
Knockem out cold like my name is Tyson
You judged me wrong it’s not surprising
But Give me 30 seconds on the fucking mic then
And I’ll toast the competition like some fucking dry bread
flows electric like a fucking hybrid
If we’re betting that you’re trash you can give em my bid,
while rollin out the bins to stick you pricks in,
Im thinking morbid I got more of that shit
Your track sucked more than your fucking whore did
while she shows more crack than she fucking snorted
I’m hoarding rhymes
You get bored of mine?
I got borderline ten flows standin in line
You Can’t match the practice just by design,
so go ahead and try to get ahead of mine
And You’ll have an easier time getting pigs to fly

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Maymon Fresh

Total Posts: 1027
Member Since: 2008
Location: Can you be perfect
posted Friday, September 29, 2017 12:05:41 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for Maymon Fresh   Click Here to Email Maymon Fresh
Make the middle words rhyme and shorten some lines.. You actually were doing that through half of verse so i know its in you.. Dope all the way around though..the weed out the window part was exceptional the whore on crack part was great

Partial IP: 62.144.146

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