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Eternal Flower
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Found: 10 replies
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AuthorTopic:  Eternal Flower
Marty

Total Posts: 72
Member Since: 2017
posted Saturday, December 09, 2017 6:10:47 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Marty
I was going for a walk and I passed a couple of blocks
And on the ground was a discarded cereal box

I picked it up and was about to put it in the garbage can
Because that’s the kind of man I am

But I looked at it again and examined it in my hand
And on the back was a map of an unknown land

It had the words EAT THE PRISE TO ENTER printed on it
I asked myself “What’s the Prise? And do I want it?”

So I shook the box with some doubt, and suddenly a candy doll fell out
It was something that I’d never seen; it was a contorted figure the colour green

So I ate the candy, and did the experiment it tasted like spearmint
And with the candy in my stomach there was now also some fear in it

I continued on my stroll and then all of a sudden the world began to roll
I felt kind of dozy so I got cozy and lay down on the ground with dandelions all around

I awoke in a place of serenity; I saw monkeys and rabbits sharing affinity
It must have been the work of divinity

I saw an elderly man riding an enormous multicoloured centipede
He said to me, “Hi there young fellow, can I help for your trouble?”

I answered, “Yes sir. I’m out of my level; this place seems kind of nice, but am I stuck here for my entire life?”
“You can leave right now; all you have to do is lie down and rest

And when you wake up you’ll be at the same place that you left
Or you can stay here and do our test

You are the chosen one because you ate the prise
Now if you prove yourself wise you will marry a princess and neither of you dies

But if you fail the test then you will meet your demise
So you can either go back home with no backbone

Or you can try to be a king and get everything....
To be Continued

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Porkelin

Total Posts: 636
Member Since: 2017
posted Saturday, December 09, 2017 7:46:39 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Porkelin
Oh shit! Left it on a cliffhanger!
I bet you wake up in an alley getting your butt tapped by a greasy hobo. Don't eat mysterious candy lying around on the street! XD

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Marty

Total Posts: 72
Member Since: 2017
posted Saturday, December 09, 2017 7:57:10 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Marty
That won't happen, but a very interesting journey will happen

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Porkelin

Total Posts: 636
Member Since: 2017
posted Sunday, December 10, 2017 10:32:12 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for Porkelin
Guess I'll have to tune in again for the next episode ^^

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Marty

Total Posts: 72
Member Since: 2017
posted Sunday, December 10, 2017 3:38:48 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Marty
Maybe tomorrow
Btw
wd
^^ mean?

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Porkelin

Total Posts: 636
Member Since: 2017
posted Sunday, December 10, 2017 9:19:19 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Porkelin
It's just a smiley.

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\Saga Sphinx/

Total Posts: 3490
Member Since: 2003
Location: London, England
posted Monday, December 11, 2017 6:17:30 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for \Saga Sphinx/   Click Here to Email \Saga Sphinx/
Your style/flow has a bounce to it, which can read as simple, but probably gives you more room for expression when it comes to delivery? I'd like to hear some audio, if you have any? Story rhymes are dope. The 'drug fuelled vision' tends to push imagination further too. Good stuff

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Marty

Total Posts: 72
Member Since: 2017
posted Monday, December 11, 2017 12:36:06 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Marty
Thanks
I'm glad you enjoyed reading the story
as far as audio goes, I don't really have the equipment
and I'm still trying to find my rap voice
But maybe in the future I might give it a try

Partial IP: 224.194.89

agent7D6

Total Posts: 244
Member Since: 2017
Location: Don's Market
posted Wednesday, December 13, 2017 1:43:49 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for agent7D6
Cool story. Some the vocab got on my nerves but all in all a good write.

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Marty

Total Posts: 72
Member Since: 2017
posted Wednesday, December 13, 2017 9:05:37 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for Marty
Thanks
It's very difficult to make a story rhyme and make sense at the same time

That's why the vocab is a bit off

Partial IP: 224.194.89

robby.j

Total Posts: 13
Member Since: 2016
Location: Surrey.BC.Canada.
posted Sunday, December 17, 2017 11:36:27 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for robby.j
funny story man, left on a cliff hanger lol should come back n finish the story one day just for the hell of it haha

Partial IP: 224.194.89

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