The 1999 Darwin Award Winner goes to.....
**Someone sent this to me the other day.
**Hopefully Hip Hop headz are not this
Here's the winner for the 1999 Darwin Awards.
Now this year's winners:
(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheater.
Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pick-up truck over to the fence and the plan was for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, who was
100-pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his
Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a
30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over,
he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted
(and broken, along with his arm, as it were) by a large branch that
snagged him by his shorts.
Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he
looked down and saw some bushes below him. (Possibly) figuring the
bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocketknife and proceeded to
cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree.
Finally free, (did I mention that he is THE LATE) Mr.Pernicky crashed into Holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of
his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse(?!), on landing, his pocketknife penetrated his thigh 3 inches.
(The late) Mr. Hawkins, on seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, decided to throw him a rope and pull him to safety (now he thinks of the "S" word) by tying the rope to the pick-up truck and slowly driving away.
However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck into reverse and
crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him.
Police arrived to find the crashed pick-up with its driver thrown 100 feet from
the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon
moving the truck, they found John under it, half-naked scratches on his
body, a holly stick up his butt, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts
dangling from a tree branch 25-feet in the air.
Congratulations gentlemen, you win...
Yeah, I accidently sat a bristle brush once. That shit fucked me up for about a week.
The Iron Chef
When I heard this one a few months ago I nearly pissed myself in tears.
Check some of the other stupid, sick, hilarious, etcetera Darwin Awards at www.darwinawards.com
man i hate when that happens....god damn holly bushes
18 beers between 2 heads? And they were that drunk? They can't fuck with the Drunken Flunkies!!