Give me some cricticism! you want hip-hop right?
thee originator/style greater than you imitators/ da most righteous of this practice/I send tactics to strike wack kids, who be askin/for full satisfaction/I'm guranteed to proceed with da dopeness/I mean upfront and up closeness,da vocalist/jaekuan I uphold da mic like a wond BLACK!/I grant 3 wishes but ya rank is still bitches/but you ni**az still don't understand my position/my inquistion setz in,and I start mic flippin/step on stage and start rippin,ya heartz apart and still preachin bout da only god/supreme intellect mic check,so i leave you scard/you either freeze at 32 degrees,or understand this knowledge that I heave/my fractics consist of mathmatics,for you rhyme addicts you bring static/so in other wordz you snake herbs betta observe,these wise wordz/or perhapz stay loss/a victimless loss who obey da cross/never I da most high who amplify to notify/ my lost people whose in da cluches of evil/three 6's who recieve long goodnight kisses/my to chance repent this is like a queen vs bitches, so my steez remain relentless/
peace! give me some criticism!
Im with Magic One....
When I felt it was really gonna flow, rhyme scheme changed. I mean, I like listening people's posts, I mean reading em to a beat. This just didnt flow, sorry. Try writing you shit while listening to an instrumental
I got some criticism. (Throws in his two cents) Try to work on the rhythm. When I thought I found the flow, you changed the rhyme scheme. It's hard to follow.
Northside Chicago, IL
Damn, is it me... or does this kid always double post?
BULL SHIT !!!!!!!
THAT SHIT IS THA BOMB ...
make some more......
Aka Trash MC.....
MY CHANCE TO REPENT THIS, NOT TO CHANCE OOPS STILL AT WORK