Don't Call It a Comeback.........
C'MON DUDE....I've been here for years...err...months.
The 1967 Red Sox, George Foreman, Bell bottom jeans, lilWASTED
That's right y'all. It's official now. The auto loan came through and well, I guess actually you could call it a comeback. One thing is for sure, anyway. The Self Proclaimed Hip Hop Historian is back for good.
My extended time away has given me a lot of time to get my head straight and do some self-evaluation of my life, if you will.
After a two and a half month hiatus, the DT's and withdrawal pains from my net addiction became clearly obvious. I soon realized that somewhere between June and August, I had become the biggest cyber geek to hit the world since that faggott Bill Gates took his Speak n Spell to the Junior Prom! The circumstances that led to this extended absence (READ: Broke as a mothaf'n joke) were unavoidable. The break from UGHH.com was no easy task either!
Nonetheless, I overcame my personal addictions by using a plethra of defense mechanism techniques.
Number one, I returned heavily to old faithful, the love of my life, the one who keeps me going, so to speak: No, not Marlene, stupid,.........Alcohol. On lonely nights where I normally would've been responding to an idiotic SIMPLE post or perusing my dear old Dad's favorite site (www.SmackMyBitchUp.com), I instead turned to a smiling refridgerator full of BRUCES and the like. Not something to be proud about, but believe me, my liver is starting to resemble one of those hockey puck urinals at the RATHSKELLAR in Kenmore. I offered a blood transfusion to Old Dirty Bastard and the mothafucka politely declined for chrissakes. Put it this way, if you cut me open right now, something might get up and run the fuck away!!!!
Secondly, I would occasionally sneak into the local library being careful not to let anyone see me, of course, due to that funny lil lifetime banishment thing ("OH, sorrrry, didn't know it was a crime to jerk off in the periodical section!!! Shit, who the hell uses the periodicals for their plagiarized papers anyway? Yeah I'll use the Reader's Guide, all right....as I guide myself into an orgasmic frenzy...oh sorry, I'm getting a lil off track here, not to mention a tad vulgar!) Anyway, sneaking into the library and using the net to sneak a few peaks at the site would usually hold me over for a couple weeks. It was refreshing to see that aside from expanding the format slightly, not too much has changed (READ: WILLUS is still a prick).
Another technique I used to fill my ughh.com addiction was of course, live shows. I figured if I couldn't insult you 9 to 5 ham and egger humanoids with my typing prowess, the least I could do was check in with some of you socially deranged cats periodically via underground shows. I did take in quite a few of them so I was able to keep up on the important posts, anyway. You know those ultra original ones that I refer to: Rap vs. Hip Hop, R.I. vs. R.I., Eminem vs. Canibus in a freestyle, Old School vs. New school, WILLUS vs the board, Brown vs. The Board of Education, Roe vs. Wade, Skins vs Shirts, Boys vs the girls, My Father vs. The Rape charges....wait a minute I think I'm digressing a bit again. Sorry, bout that, I get a lil carried away. Nonetheless, most of the shows I saw were dope as fuck too, although thanks to budafett el nougat farmer, I can't recall much of that one in Lowell. Kid packs more pills than Walgreen's for chrissakes. Oh yeah, that Rahzel show in Cambridge I actually went to and stayed completely SOBER if you can believe that. Sounded nice on paper, tryna be responsible and all cuz one of my friends was killed in an automobile accident the week before, but let me tell ya IT SUCKS!!! Props to HARMONIA...I don't know how the fuck you do that SOBER shit week in and week out.
Finally, there was one thing that helped me battle this terrible net addiction that stood out above the rest. It has particularly aided me in my toughest, most vulnerable times. It captured my attention almost nightly and really made me erase the painful feeling of lonliness that lack of a computer and ughh.com had left me. That void was filled by none other than REGIS PHILBIN.......Are ya sure? Confident? Final answer?
Yeah, I'm sure REGIS. Sure I'm sure. Sure glad to be back, that is.
I love you guys, maaaaaaannnnnnn!
Your Self Proclaimed
Hip Hop Historian,
"Addicted to your presence
just like a narcotic...the
most melodic...the hypnotic"
if the nba is for fags then call me liberacci....uh, who wouldnt pick odom anyway, he is heads above the rookie class and was an unbelievable value at roughly 5 mill....all i know is mr bawles rode the todd mccollough wagon until ratliff came back then had the nerve to bite my other center othella harrington....slowly but surely i am sneaking up in the football jawn...remeber there is 16 weeks, actually more with the byes and shit....welcome back lilwasted....its nice to see the strip clubs finally rejected your credit card....your 3 thousand dollar a week lap dance habit finally caught up with you....stumbling out of the place piss drunk asking the bouncer if your chin smells like pussy....i dont care if your face smells like pussy....i still like you
i agree....does someone want to form and run a league where we draft...
I am and will take full credit since it is a fact that I had the first team with the guy on that site. There was one team before I picked mine, and that one didn't have him. Now after I pick him and he goes out and does his thing, he ends up on 80% of you people's teams. HMMMMMM...
thats why these kind of leagues suck, everyone just bites each other. It's much more fun (and so much harder)when you have a draft and you can't have the same guys on every team.
the nba is for fags anyway.
detroid....dont take full credit for odom...i believe i have had him since day one....
Odom played some ball upstate!Troy Redemption!Thats when he started blowing up...so i rode his dick before all you....i mean i was a fan....Hey Chicago...Elton's averageing 8 a game and leading your team in scoring...aren't you kicking your own asses?
oh vowel, you're such a smarty. go back to reading your media guide and shut the fuck up.
I saw you at the Lyricist Lounge show and you told me you were going to be making a comeback due to the recent purchase of a PC. Personally, I thought you were just saying that so that I would leave you alone. But what do you know? You really are back!
For me to say 'Thank You' would be an understatement. Since you left earlier the board hasn't been the same (I'm sure many people would back me up on that statement). Hopefully things will be turning around now that you are back - word up!
Odom aint from ri buddy thats where he went to school but hes from queens
next dude that disses Prince Paul on here gets slapped on their raw exposed kidneeeee, I mean it....
PS just got three words for yall :
how can you come on here and dis Paul Pierce? I'll dis Walker all day, but not Pierce, he is absolutely nasty. And by the way, I had Lamar Odom before any of yall so step. Thats my two words for that cba herb Griffin, LAMAR ODOM. Rookie of the Year, straight outta the RI.
Also, this goes out to everyone on the Celtics, besides Adrian Griffin, who was on my fantasy team before anyone else's:
Welcome back Wasted!
I'm glad to hear that you got a new PC, now I don't have to handle your fantasy picks for you every Sunday morning and can enjoy Sports Reporters.
Fuck the celtics, and the Fleet Center. I'll be up the street at Hooters waiting for ya'll.
DETTY, my brother, thanks for the kind words.. I'm down for the C's game but can't exactly organize it myself due to increasingly high credit card balances! I think we should go to a 76ers game so I can rub it in Weed Nickels face when Barros keeps drainin' em over a hungover Iverson. Also, I like to yell "Moe Cheeks is a sodomizer". Any other FLUNKIES down for such an event?
I promise to be just as WASTED as at Fenway this summer, minus the vomit in Mikeill's sink, of course. I know Soda Popinsky will be down. He's an NBA freak like Jack Sikma. Anyway, we'll see what the response is and go from there. One plus is that it's mad easy to sneak in BRUCES at the Fleet. I tucked four brews when I went against the Knicks a couple of Friday nights ago. Suspect security will always pay the price. Anyway, good idea, I'm down Later,
Your Southpaw Swillin'
Hip Hop Historian,
P.S. I revamped my fantasy
team for the first time
since week three and am primed
to make a late run for tenth
"Drugs players like Tarpley"
late run for tenth place
welcome back sir, it's about time the clown prince of the board came back. the lack of witty, funny, creative, posts were mine...and then very few and far between. hopefully that changes due to your reapearence act. glad to see you back. whats up with a flunkie celtic game? yall down?