How To Deal Withsnaresandkicks Vol 1
Shocking as it may be to you (and your neighbors), aggressive behavior is a normal part of your toddler's development. Still-emerging language skills, a fierce desire to become independent, and undeveloped impulse control make children this age prime candidates for getting physical. "Some degree of hitting and biting is completely normal because toddlers are so focused on 'me' and 'mine,'" says Nadine Block, executive director of the Center for Effective Discipline in Columbus, Ohio. Though your 2-year-old's behavior may send you into a panic, hang in there. By consistently letting her know that aggressive behavior is unacceptable and showing her other ways to express her feelings, you can help her see the light.
What to do
Follow up with logical consequences. If your child gets into the ball pit at the indoor play center and immediately starts throwing the balls at other kids, take her out. Sit down with her and watch the other kids play, and explain that she can go back in when she feels ready to join the fun without hurting other children. This is much more effective than blowing your top. Yelling, hitting, or telling your child she's bad won't get her to curtail her behavior — you'll just give her an example of new things to try (and get her more riled up). Showing her that you can control your temper may be the first step in controlling hers.
Set clear limits. Try to respond immediately whenever your toddler is aggressive. Don't wait until she hits her brother for the third time to say, "That's enough!" She should know instantly when she's done something wrong. Remove her from the situation for a brief time-out (just a minute or two is enough). This is the best way to let her cool down, and soon she'll connect her behavior with the consequence and figure out that if she hits or bites, she ends up out of the action.
Discipline consistently. As much as possible, respond to each episode the same way you did last time. Your predictable response ("OK, you bit Billy again — that means another time-out") will set up a pattern that your child will recognize and come to expect. Eventually, it will sink in that if she misbehaves, she'll get a time-out. Even in public, where you may be mortified by your child's behavior, don't let your embarrassment cause you to lash out at her. Other parents have been there too — if people stare, simply toss off a comment like "It's hard to have a 2-year-old," and then discipline your child in the usual fashion.
Teach alternatives. Wait until your toddler has settled down, then calmly and gently review what happened. Ask her if she can explain what triggered her outburst. Emphasize (briefly!) that it's perfectly natural to have angry feelings but it's not okay to show them by hitting, kicking, or biting. Encourage her to find a more effective way of responding; for example, "talking it out" ("Tommy, you're making me mad!"), kick a ball, or ask an adult to help. You can also try reading a book such as Mr. Rogers' Let's Talk About Feeling Angry together.
Make sure your child understands that she needs to say she's sorry when she lashes out at someone. Her apology may be insincere at first, but the lesson will sink in. Children are naturally compassionate, but the passions of toddlerhood can overtake compassion sometimes; eventually she will acquire the habit of apologizing when she has hurt someone.
Reward good behavior. Rather than giving your child attention only when she's misbehaving, try to catch her being good — for example, when she asks to have a turn on the swing instead of pushing another child out of the way. Praise her lavishly when she uses words ("That's so great that you asked to have a turn!") and she'll soon realize how powerful they are. You might even reward her with a gold-star sticker every time she manages to keep her temper in check.
Limit TV time. Cartoons and other shows designed for young children can be filled with shouting, threats, even shoving and hitting. So watch TV with your child, and try to monitor which programs she watches, particularly if she seems prone to aggressive behavior. When you do let your child watch, talk to her about situations that arise: "That wasn't a very good way for her to get what she wanted, was it?" (And the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under the age of 2 watch no TV at all.)
Provide physical outlets. You might find that unless your toddler gets a chance to burn off her abundant energy, she's a terror at home. If your child is high-spirited, give her plenty of unstructured time, preferably outdoors, to let off steam.
Don't be afraid to seek help. Sometimes a child's aggression requires more intervention than a parent can provide. If your child seems to behave aggressively more often than not, if she seems to frighten or upset other children, or if your efforts to curb her behavior have little effect, talk to your pediatrician, who may in turn recommend a counselor or child psychologist. Together you can determine the source of the behavior and help your child through it. Remember, your child is still very young. If you work with her patiently and creatively, chances are that her pugnacious tendencies will soon be a thing of the past.
he hasnt been makin those annoying posts lately so stay off his nuts so we dont have to deal with the bullshit. thats all im sayin, you cant feel me until you have about 30 non production related threads to delete every day... thats practically why ive been givin up moderating but despite, wanna keep it a decent place for those posting.
that teapot bid is fuckin disgusting son.
decap, nobody likes him but you dawg.
hahah sorry but "the big brother big sister program" was too funny...
if anyones one his dick its decap..... are you part of the big brother big sister program or something???
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA NO WAY!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
ok, while this thread is up, i thought i'd share something from another forum..
makes you think twice about takin pics on the solo huh?? hehe
hahaha.. ok fine..
get off his dick... your makin the board worse makin posts like this.