I know a kid whos been dead for several seasons
or maybe hes vanished for sum fedral reasons
cuz sumtimes this lifes like. death for all hethans
poeple who be eaten by the starvin ass demons
u know the sins are good cuz death is always a teasin
weither corupt by nonbelievers or jus straight up treason
sicking stacks he alwys wuld seize them
..i even seen em cut open bodys to stuff trees in...
thiz kid went bad for the worng reason I pray to god to change and decieve him
but i cant believe how these drugs are gonna eat him...
tear em down and start beatin to change thiz kids life i start creepin...
the grim reepers alarms beepin that means the cousin of sleep is right down the street and it dont treat the meak with disbelief
it makes their families hurt and makes the loved ones weep..everyday i think of how sumthin soo deep.
can go ahead and ruin ur life at its peak ..
so take my advice and quit for the rest of the week
i felt this one, keep em comin
Good looks everybody. thanks for the feedback. I kno i need work so keep the critique comin.
i liked it... just elongate it man... more vivid and you have yourself some dope shit...
and too vague right now you know
to basic,choppy at times,to short,elevate....keep writing
I liked da idea, but I thought it could of flowed better... maybe it was how I read it. Keep it Movin'